How Not To Start Your Day

I climbed out of bed this morning with a plan. I was going to go into my living room and have a yoga session with the guy on TV. I got dressed in my finest yoga gear, rolled out my mat, turned on the TV and then I made my mistake. I let the dog out. Why was this wrong you ask? It couldn't be avoided so I'm not truly to blame, but I was unaware that there was a skunk by the shed.

The dog ran straight to it and proceeded to get sprayed! Now I wasn't aware of this until he came back to the door to come in and I picked him up. I walked four steps inside and then it hit me. Now here's where I went really wrong...in my effort to quickly get him washed I lost sight of the fact that we have a utility sink in the garage. I instead took him to my bathroom and threw him in the tub. I rushed to the pantry and all I had was tomato sauce so that's what he got. I have scrubbed and scrubbed...he still stinks. I have stripped all of my clothing and towels and have them in the washer. I showered, but it's no use....my house is permeated with skunk. I have enough candles lit to be a small chapel, I've sprayed an entire bottle of air freshener, and I've bleached the bathtub. I can't open the windows to air out the house because outside smells even worse than inside. How do you get skunk funk out of your house??

So much for my "zen" morning...any tips would be greatly appreciated.